Monday, June 25, 2012

Feel The Hurt

So many of you commented on my band-aid blog and many bought up feeling the hurt or feeling the pain and it's importance. I agree! This is important and so what a great topic for another blog. When talking about not needing a band-aid for everything I was talking more about the fact that we bring this into every situation we come along in life and often over look when someone actually needs a band-aid. Also I think it's important to remember that even if you have a band-aid on doesn't mean you don't feel the pain of that wound.

I think about the time when my brothers and I were playing on our swing set outside. We had an old metal swing set that had huge metal hooks that help up the swings. Well it was normal for us to take the swings down and attempt to shimmy our way from one side of the swing set to the other. Well one of my brothers feel right at the point where one of the metal hooks was sticking out and he cut his chest pretty bad. Because of my love for band-aids there were only the very tiny band-aids and they barely covered his wound. I think he had about 20 or so of the tiny band-aids in a row going down his chest. I felt horrible, I knew that it was because of me that he was feeling more pain than he needed too. Well truth is, he would have felt that pain anyway...small or large band-aids wouldn't have mattered.

I think about the pain that we feel when we hurt ourselves. It's a reminder of what happened. The pain my thumb felt when I cut my finger on a knife while drying it was a reminder not to do that again. Sometimes it's the same with emotional pain. Our emotional pain reminds us not to keep doing the same thing over and over again. The result will always be the same...more pain.

I also think sometimes we try to ignore pain. We make it seem like nothing is wrong and we give this look as if we are happy all the time. We act as if things don't bother us. Our attempts to ignore pain is in hope that it will just go away. The problem with this is it just stays there, and as it stays there it builds and builds. Until the pain is almost unbearable.

So how do we help our daughters to deal with hurts now? How do we help keep the pain at a minimum and not let it fester? Talking. Communication is key. I know you have heard me say it before and I will most likely say it again. Making sure our daughters know it's ok to talk to us about anything is important. I think it's also important to not make them feel like their hurts are unimportant. Let them know it's ok to feel. It's ok to be upset...but also let them know that this is something we learn from. Lets help our daughter's generation understand true genuine joy from a young age and encourage them to keep going for joy!



  1. {Melinda} Wonderful thoughts ... I always tell my daughter that she can deal with her problems now or one day her problems will deal with her. But ignoring them is not an option.

    You're right. Listening is key. When they become teens, it's hard to hear them express opinions and emotions that are angry and/or inappropriate. But I've found that I can validate their feelings ("I'm so sorry you're frustrated...") without validating their viewpoint. Asking thoughtful questions and helping them talk it through often directs them to the right answer -- on their own.

    And I pray alot that the Holy Spirit is speaking to her in ways that I can't. :)

  2. I just love your point of view! Let's face it...hurt happens. Thanks for reminding me to be better equipped when it does happen and how to help my children deal with it and grow as well. Great job! -Kristy