Pages

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Vacation

I am on my way to California. This girl could use some nice beach time with my family! It's going to be an amazing time with my husband's family! It's going to be full of so many people and lots of children. We are in for a very LOUD vacation!

I am excited to spend time with my MIL. I know what some of you are thinking. I know the kind of typical relationship people have with their MIL. I can honestly say she is one of my closest friends. I talk to her often on the phone and she always has come out to be with us when our girls have been born. She is a blessing and she has taught me so much about life, God and love. God knew what he was doing when he gave me such a wonderful MIL.

So here I go. Off to the west and hopefully a little break from this heat we have been having here! I will see you all in two weeks!
Photobucket

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A Black Stain

I have this stain on my dress. It's the most embarrassing thing I could think of right now. As I walk in the room and attempt to hide the small black spot it feels as if it only grows. Every attempt to cover it up only makes it more noticeable. So what do I do? I continue to walk around and find different ways to hide it, but knowing the whole time that everyone in the room knows it's there and they can all see it.


So what do you do? You act as if you don't see it, but you do. Every few seconds your eyes drift to the spot. You catch yourself looking at it again and try to focus on something else. You attempt to comment on something else about me, "What a beautiful flower you have in your hair tonight!" Yet there it is still, that black stain that marks my dress. Your eyes can't help it, they just keep drifting.

So here we are. We continue this awkward waltz around each other. Me trying to hide. You trying to ignore. But what good are we doing? If I keep trying to hide my stain that is right in front of you how will you ever know how to help? And if you just keep ignoring it while all along you have the travel stain remover stick in your purse...isn't that just a waste?

Where is the openness and honesty on both of our ends? Let's be straight forward with each other and then our waltz will no longer be so awkward, but well thought out and beautiful!
Photobucket

Monday, July 23, 2012

To Vlog or Not to Vlog?

So here is my attempt at Vlogging. I think if I am going to keep this up a better camera is needed. I just used my webcam (first time we have ever used it) so it's not the best quality! My blogging friend Stephanie over at Our Marriage Adventure started this and I am just following along! :) You should check her blog out...she's a cute southern belle! :)


5ohWifey is the one who started it all. So check out the blog and see if you want to tag along as well!

5ohwifey



Photobucket

A Man

I was thinking about my man today. Well honestly I think about him everyday. It must be the fact that we just recently had family pictures taken, and there is one of just the two of us. Someone mentioned that we look very much in love still. My reply was "I fall deeper in love everyday". The truth is...I do. If you knew everything we have been through you would understand.

My husband has shown me such unconditional love. There have been times I have put him through a lot. I am not always the most pleasant person to be around. If your wife has been pregnant 5 times...you would probably understand. I have also given him a lot to stress out about during our marriage. During a short conversation before he went to work the other day he quickly fit in "Have you been eating?" If you were in the room you would have heard the softness of his voice. The concern in his tone. And you would have seen the strong look of love in his eyes. He cares about me. He wants me to stay healthy, and he knows my desire to help others and to give a good example to our daughters. He's my rock.


One thing I have always loved about him is his strong opinion. He doesn't often back down, but always does it in a firm but soft way. There are many times that we agree to disagree. He is strong in his opinion that we keep a house full of prayer. That we pray often as a family. Often as a couple. And often alone...with time just for us and God.

It's almost been nine years with this man. NINE years. 6 moves. 5 children. 1 cat...and many dead fish. Our lives have been crazy. We've traveled the world...and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else right next to me. Do you have a supportive man?

Photobucket

Sunday, July 15, 2012

To Die is Gain

This Saturday was a strange one for me. I attended a funeral and then right after I jumped in the van with my husband and 5 girls to celebrate our 3 year old's birthday. It was a great reminder of how precious life really is. As I left for the funeral my oldest daughter asked me where I was going. It's not too often my children see me in a skirt, even if it is a jean skirt. I told her that I was going to a funeral and her response was "I hope that it is a happy and sad funeral." Most people wouldn't understand what she is saying because so often we view funerals as only sad. We no longer get to see these people. We have a void in our life now without them. But my 7 year old gets it. When we know Jesus we get to be with Him when we die. This lady lived a long and amazing life with Jesus. I was blessed to know her.

As I sat at my daughters birthday I thought of all the healing that went on in my life during that time. I was at a point where I was pretty happy with myself. I wasn't unhappy with my weight I wasn't really struggling with any deep emotional issues. It was during this pregnancy that I truly had this picture of being Christ beloved. I thought about how this little one would be born into our family, not much different to how I was adopted into God's family. The ways are so different, yet the acceptance and love are all the same.

It was during this pregnancy that I would sit at night in the quiet of our house. I would rock in the rocking chair and just be still. The quietness of our rural town we had just moved to allowed many quiet nights that L.A even in it's late hours didn't give me. Just waiting on God really did so much for me. He opened my eyes to show me many of the deep down scars that I had effecting me. It was a great time of healing and maybe not removing those scars, because they will always be apart of me, but learning from them in away I never had.

Right after she was born (which took a very long time...3 hours of it pushing!) I really appreciated life. The first thing I whispered after she was born was "To live is Christ." I can't really tell you why I spoke those words to her, but it was the message laid on my heart for her. So this weekend I really saw that message "To live is Christ and to die is gain."

Photobucket

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Known

I am thankful that in this world of craziness there is one who knows me completely. As I have days I struggle to make my thoughts understood, I know I can climb up on His lap and talk for hours on end. There are days I struggle to understand my daughters and I am thankful that they have Him as well to turn to when even their mother doesn't understand them fully.

On dark nights when the shadows of past days haunt me He is always there. Rarely does He ever talk back to me. Normally He is there as a quiet listening ear. It's this beautiful peaceful silence that I crave. Knowing that there is someone listening to my deepest inward thoughts...thoughts that very few people ever get a glimpse of. My deepest desires. My darkest thoughts. The seeping wounds my heart as endured...He knows them all. Between us there are no secrets. No past that He doesn't know. No pain that He hasn't seen.


Tonight while listening to music I think Audrey Assad said it best in her song Known. "And as a lover knows his beloved's heart; all the shapes and curves of her, even in the dark: You have formed me in my inward parts; and You know me." Some might see it as a invasion of space, but I find peace in this kind of knowing. Even if I have no words and just need to sit, He knows what's on my heart. My heavenly Father knows me deeper than anyone else. Dig deep with Him even if it is in silence.

Photobucket

Friday, July 6, 2012

Thank You Katniss Everdeen!

I have a feeling this is going to be a popular post with the teens! A wonderful reference to The Hunger Games and I am sure to have a following of young teenage girls. I had never planned on reading The Hunger Games series, but my husband insisted that I read it and go to the movie with him. He is the type of guy who doesn't like going to a movie based on a book without actually reading the book...and he doesn't like it if I haven't read the book. Because then who will he talk to about all the things the movie messed up? Yes...my husband is wonderfully crazy! :)

I have to admit that I am glad I read the books. They were all great reads, but I have to say the 3rd one was the hardest to get through. I couldn't really put my finger on the reason why. I thought at first maybe it was the lack of action, but my husband didn't think it was true. I usually can trust his judgement. I did finally figure out what it was. I had a hard time with it because Katniss was struggling so much more in this book. She struggled in the first two plenty, but this struggle was different. She tended to struggle with her past and she struggled with what was going on in her mind. What was real? What wasn't real? Peeta also struggled with this later in the book, but in a different way and for different reasons. So Katniss Everdeen taught me something.

We could all learn a lesson from Katniss. It's something she does a few time throughout the book, the funny thing is when I mentioned this to my husband he didn't remember this detail. Funny...the man of details didn't remember this?

"I start with the simplest things I know to be true and work toward the more complicated. The list begins to roll in my head...
My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. My home is District 12. I was in the Hunger Games. I escaped. The Capitol hates me. Peeta was taken prisoner. He is thought to be dead. most likely he is dead. It is probably best if he is dead...."
What a simple idea. Most people who suffer from Anorexia/Bulimia or any kind of eating disorder struggle with a warped reality. Their view of what is true is so thrown off and it's hard to get them back. I still at times have this sense of not knowing what thoughts are real...what is truth and what is a lie? Have you seen your daughter struggle with this? They think things about themselves that aren't truth? Do you struggle with this yourself? So do what Katniss did, start with the simplest thing and work your way up...if someone needs help with it, just give them the core things you know about them.

My name is Sadie Ussery. I am 29 years old. My home is in Iowa. I am the wife to a wonderful man. Mother to 5 beautiful girls. I am a child of God. Loved. Fearfully and wonderfully made. Knit together in my mother's womb. Held in God's hands.




Photobucket

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Bodily Jealousy

A friend of mine who I just love posted a wonderful video of one of her poems. I watched it and I just knew I needed to share it. It struck a chord with me in so many different areas in my life. How often do I envy what other people can do? How often do I wish I could do what that woman can do? Or look how she looks? Or sing how they sing? I hardly ever stop to wonder that perhaps we are all sitting here being jealous of each when we don't see that we all have our special place. We all have a unique gift. So here is a wonderful video from my friend. (Please check out her site http://www.indiegogo.com/freedomdrum...she has a wonderful heart for the least of these!)


Photobucket