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Friday, April 26, 2013

Huge Fail...

I had this great idea. I found it on a link from Facebook. Making my own soap! FUN! Who doesn't like cute little custom made soaps? I love them! I thought it would be a perfect idea and had all my supplies and the directions ready to go. I hadn't envisioned what actually took place. An explosion in my microwave and the smell of soap lingering in my kitchen for days! Ok...so it's only been one day, but I am sure it will be days!

I was almost in tears as I cleaned out the microwave and threw out the lumpy looking heart soap. It was a failure from start to finish. It seems as if that stink is there in my kitchen now only to haunt me and remind me of the failure I was.

Do you find that life does that to you sometimes? It seems to keep reminders around for you all the time...just to let you know how much you have failed. It seems as if we like to keep those reminders around. They are the black stain on our fancy dress. The coffee spilled on our important paper. The number on the scale that is never right.

I use to keep a journal of failures. I would write everything I did wrong. I would jot down every piece of food that I thought I didn't deserve. It was my way of punishing myself. Because if I wrote it down I would go over it again and again...I would know my failure. It would be in my face just like the smell of soap is in my kitchen.

I wonder why sometimes we can't let our failures just be. Today I am going to go into my kitchen and ignore that smell. I won't let my failure be the end or my trying new things. It only makes me want to work harder. So instead I will focus on the smell of coffee brewing. The smell of the evening meal. I will focus on the pile of dishes that are not sitting in my sink...because I was successful today!

So instead of always looking at those black stains. Smelling those nasty smells. Looking around us at all the failures we have made...Let's look at all the things that we have accomplished. Need help...just look at those beautiful kids that you have!

(No pictures because Blogger wouldn't let me load them!)
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Monday, April 22, 2013

Penny For Your Thoughts...

I've always heard the saying, but no one has ever given me a penny for my thoughts. I love to know the history of a saying. Google became my friend. The book "The Proverbs of John Heywood" is where I landed. Sadly I didn't really understand his proverb that wasn't very proverbial. His English seems to be that of before William Shakespeare...whom I absolutely adore!

Whoever started the saying it just never sat right with me. You want to give me a penny for my thoughts, but the payment never comes to me? It's almost as if my thoughts are worthless. Not worth a penny or a dime. Not worth any amount of your time. But then I sit and turn the tables. Because really, who is asking? Who wants to know. My thoughts are mine, but you have to know. You want to know and you want to see all the thoughts that are inside of me.

It's like we hid them to ourselves when really our thoughts should be share with someone else. If I say "A penny for your thoughts." Perhaps your look is looking pretty cross. I see those thoughts just sitting inside. Peering through your gorgeous eyes. You want someone to know. You want someone to care...and so I offer a penny for their fare.

Penny For Your Thoughts? 

If you come to my house you will see this bucket. Just waiting to hear your thoughts. My girls filled it up today, but don't worry more paper is on the way! Maybe there will be a penny for your thoughts...
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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

My Heart has a Story

My heart speaks. Yet it doesn't always speak with words. At times it speaks with pictures, paintings or expressions. It hasn't always had the easiest time expressing it's story. But just because it has a harder time doesn't make it's story less important than others who speak a little louder. I am a firm believer that sometimes the softer spoken, when they finally get louder, have so much to say...and it's important.

My mom. She's a story teller. She writes with passion, humor, integrity and love. I remember the times she would tell me stories about her growing up. I hung on every word she would say and her descriptions were always so deep. There were times I actually felt I had met the people from the past who has gone on before I was born. One story she told me about has always stuck with me...

She told me that my grandpa was a quiet man. She remembers pretty much every time he spoke. I wonder often if he was just very intentional with his words. I wonder if he always made sure to take the time and think about what he was going to say. Wanting every word to be thoughtful, helpful and loving. A man who once spoke for his profession had a quiet hard.

I have often felt as if I connected with this man in so many different ways. Even though I never had the privilege of meeting him...the stories and photos have been apart of my life since I was young. I have learned more and more about him and I don't regret ever hearing a new piece of the story. His heart is apart of mine. Family. Connected by love and I feel with each new part of his heart I learn a bit more about me.

So I think about you. I see your pictures (some of you) and I see your eyes. The window to your heart. At times I peek in and I see a bit of the story your heart has to tell, but I wonder why we don't take time to tell more of our story. We hid most of it in our hearts not wanting to let it out. We have been led to believe that with our story comes shame and condemnation. I wonder how much we could change the world if we changed our thoughts on this. There is NO condemnation when it comes to our stories of where we have been and what we have been through. They are the past not our present. Our lives have changed. If we continue with that thought perhaps we would start to share our stories and see a change in our world. Because your story...your heart's story has a lot of healing it could share. So what is it? What is the story that your heart has to tell?

Tell Your Heart's Story

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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

You Nailed IT!

I turned 30 yesterday! Can't believe it really, but have to say I love it! Normally I take the day to think about what my year has been like, but I chose instead to spend much of my time with my girls and thinking about what has happened in my 30 years.

We shopped for art supplies that I needed for my project and the girls were constant with their questions. They were more interested with my past birthday parties and what kind of games I played at my parties! It was fun to think about.

30 years brings lots of memories and many times we can focus so much on the bad memories. They seems to stick out more than the precious good ones. Why is that? It seems as if sometimes memories are hard to remember and hold onto, and because bad ones seem to leave scars they are easier to hold onto. But I wonder how we can make sweet memories stick a little better...

I want to nail them down. When I remember something sweet from my past I close my mind and hold onto it for a few minutes. It's like I pick up a hammer and nail and take a few good whacks to really make it stick. Yet I struggle with how to make this happen for my girls. I don't want them to struggle with holding onto memories especially special, sweet, lovely good memories. So we take the time to write them down. We take the time to go back and talk about those memories that are special to them. We take the time to nail them down.

Now don't think I am saying you should forget your bad memories. You shouldn't. Those things have had their moment in shaping you. I just feel we often time take way more time to think about the bad ones and don't take enough time for those sweet good memories that make us happy.

Nailed Memories


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Thursday, April 11, 2013

An Honest Heart - Day ??

I have to be honest...it's been a week! One thing after another and my heart can only take so much. The weight can be heavy and the struggles can be deep, but really I have to be thankful. It could all be much heavier and harder.

It's times like this I am thankful for my Anchor and for the gift of a husband I have. The 5 beautiful girls that I call mine. And the unbelievable list of friends I can call on to be a support and shoulders to lean on. I wonder without this wonderful support system my crazy may have seemed crazier. My hard might have felt harder.

When crazy comes I just go with crazy. I often have my moments of break down, but in the end I remember that I just have to do what needs to be done. At the end of the day I count all my blessings and thank God for life.

To be honest I have had moments of wanting to give in. Moments where I wanted to use food as a way to feel in control, but then I looked at those five precious faces and realized that I am fighting for them. Fighting so they have a fighting chance. So instead of putting the knife and fork down...I picked them up and enjoyed the meals. Laughter and love with every bite knowing that my example is one that they will follow.

Because to remember that those 5 little faces watch everything I do pushes me to be their healthy example. Let's change this world for our girls!

April Snow...Brings May Flower?

For the picture today...our life in Narnia. Winter never leaves. I think we must have a White Witch who has put a curse on the land. When will spring come? Aslan...we are waiting! 
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Friday, April 5, 2013

Determined Heart - Day 95

Do you ever have those moments? You know...when your brain just won't stop? These are the worst for me. I start to stress about anything and everything and the off switch seems to be stuck in ON! Sleepless nights and vivid dreams don't help the feeling any. It only seems to make it worse.

When I get into moments like this it seems impossible to get anything done. My brain hopes from one worry to the next...and then the next. So I paint to calm my mind. I am a huge believe that God gave us art to help us in our deepest times of need. I know He did for me! It's so relaxing and calming. Even if I can just take a few minutes out of my day just to hold a paintbrush and apply some paint it helps. My paintings are not always the best, but they are mine. And I feel as if each one of them could tell a story.

So after many years of not painting...I picked up the brush today. How we so easily forget how healing something can be for us. I stopped painting mostly because it takes so much more work to do it when you have small children in the house. However...I wonder how my children will find healing in art if I never show them? So let the mess begin. Let the healing begin. And let the growing closer begin.

Not a painter? Find something you are passionate about that maybe you find harder to do now that you have kids. Take the time to do it with your kids...because taking that extra effort can mean the world to them. They see it. They know it. They feel it.

Day 95 - Determined Heart

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Way to a Man's Heart - Day 93

I feel like my mind is racing which means that tonight's post is going to be short and sweet and Friday's post might be a doozy! Today I bring you this fun and wonderful idea for a menu planner. My girls loved helping with it and even came up with some of their own ideas for meals. It was great fun and I can't wait to help a friend make one later this week. I can't take credit for it all Sarah Potter posted the idea on her blog and you can see it here!

Day 93 - Heart of the Kitchen
Love my daughter's suggestion! Cupcakes (Your lucky day!)


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Monday, April 1, 2013

Light of the Heart - Day 91

Love is a light. A bright light that comes from deep within. My thought is that we are born with it. We are born with a sinful nature and we see that all around us. But it is as if God gives us a kick start with love. A small drop inserted into the middle of our heart that has the opportunity to grow while we do. Do we choose to continue adding drops of love to the first one? As parents we are given a great responsibility to show, encourage, nurture and enable love in our children's lives. I have felt the beginning of love in a child...with each newborn I have held.

It's hard to see when it happens, but often we can confuse other things for love when they are anything but. "What does I love you mean?" is the question I heard today. How do you explain what that means? How do you explain love... especially to a young girl. "It means I care about you." But my answer seems so unworthy of what it really should have been. Perhaps it's the right answer for a 3 year old, but then again sometimes we tend to underestimate what young ones really understand.

1 Corinthians 13 is a chapter in the Bible that was always hard for me. It was so opposite of the way my life was going that it was hard for me to see it as love. I longed and still do long to show love like that. What an amazing example of love we have in Christ. So what a great passage we can share with our girls when they ask what love is...

Love - Day 91


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