Friday, November 15, 2013

WTLB: Grateful

You go to the doctor. Not coming away with the answers you really want. Somethings not right with your body, but it's more of a guessing game. That's my experience right now. They think it's one thing, but that comes back the guessing game continues. I wonder at times if it could be the abuse I put my body under for so many years. Not giving it what it needed and now my body is reacting. My current health issues have made clear the importance of handing down healthy food attitudes and healthy body images to our own daughters. Learning from our past mistakes and taking from life's lessons passed on to us.

Today thought I reflect on how blessed I am to be relatively healthy. I can still move on in my day with very little blocking me. I may end up flailing into bed at night with a huge need to just lay there and do nothing. But...I make it through my day with having to take very little medication. I think of a child who bravely walked through a cancer scare. When surgery was in her near future others who needed water and food were what she was worried about. I think about a little boy and his parents. For two years they waited for a donated kidney. The future ever so unclear. While in the hospital after his transplant, even with everything they face, he and his parents are an encouragement and inspiration to other parents and children still waiting for a transplant.

To me the people around me who speak into my life always show such gratefulness. In a world of want it's a hard thing to do. We are never happy and when we are it's never for very long. We are onto the next want of the day. I step back and I look at all that I have. The health that I do have. The home that is provided for me. The husband that loves me. The children who adore me. What more could I want? It's time to be grateful.


Friday, November 1, 2013

WTLB: Kind

When I think of words to describe me...kind is not the first on my list. Honestly it might be hard to find at all. As I take mental note of my personality and my characteristics kind is not something I easily find in myself. Especially when I think of my relationship towards my kids. I am often overwhelmed with getting this done, getting to this place.

"Do you have your teeth brush?"
"Why aren't your shoes on?"
"Did you even comb your hair?"

The majority of the words that find their way out of my mouth and to my children's ears are not often kind. They come our harsh. Rushed. Often times anxious. Because for the 3rd week in a row we are going to be late for church.

When I stop to think about it my harsh words don't do any better. The fruit that comes from these words are often the sad looks on my children's faces. The words lack anything that has to do with kindness. They lack love. Warmth. Sympathy. Tenderness.

With such tender hearts why am I giving them such harsh words? Why am I mostly showing them my frustration and exhaustion? As a mother I know it's hard. We often times feel rushed to get everyone ready and out the door.We feel the pressure to have perfectly behaved children in public. There is this need to have a wonderfully kept house. But why is it that in all my efforts to get this all falls into failure? And what are the answers given to me to help remedy this mess?

"Take 'me' time."
"Make a list."
"Give consequences."

But it seems to me that no amount of "ME" time, list or consequences seems to help the situation. My words are still harsh and I can't help but think about what kind of damage I am doing to their little hearts. Forcing them to toughen them up at such a young age. Making them feel like like is all about rule and regulations. Life is just a long list of consequences.

I think about the moments in my life that made the biggest impact. What did everyone of those situations have in common. Words that were kind. Words with love kitted in at every space. Wordless actions brought on by kind hands.

My mother brushing my hair.
My best friend offering prayer.
Strangers offering encouragement.

So how do I take this overwhelming burden off of me? How to I exchange my harsh words for kind ones?

I give up! I give up trying to be perfect. I give up trying to please everyone around me. I give up trying to raise perfect children and I choose to knit in kind words to everything I saw to my girls. In those moments of frustration when shoes aren't being put on I will choose to take a breath, remind myself that they are kids and use those kind words that were once spoken to me.

Take a breath.
Remind yourself.
Speak kindly.