Sunday, March 2, 2014

The Mess in my Heart

I've reached inside my heart to write a post, and all I see is a mess. When tragedy hits close to home I feel it hard. It's moments like this when I tend to hug my family a little harder. A little more. I have the last moment I saw her in my mind. It's just sitting there reminding me of how happy she seemed. Reminding that she always had a smile on her face. Moments later she was gone. Her life taken from her. Now 4 children are without a mother.

I don't always understand life. I have stopped trying. I can't make sense of a tragedy of a mother being killed. I have come to terms with the thought that I don't understand what God is doing. But I know who He is. It's moments like this when we have to let go of wanting to understand. How can we ever understand a senseless crime? How can we ever make sense of murder? We can't!

Letting go of wanting answers is never easy. It goes against our very human nature. We often want to shake our fist at heaven and ask "Why God? Why?" But we have to understand many times the answers aren't always going to come. We have to trust that God knows the big picture. He understands our pain and He wants to be there for us in the mist of our mess.

When my words fail me God always comes through. I have realized that it's not always words that help, but actions will often make the biggest difference. Right now I am not sure what my actions should be. I know that there are children who are grieving. Family that is hurting. Perhaps it's a meal. A small note or picture drawn. I urge you if you live in the area pray about how you could be a blessing to this family. Find a small way that you can show the arms of God wrapping around them.