Then you would know where I am failing often in life. I lack determination and often things can smother my want to be determined. Like today the weather is my nemesis. When I muster all my strength to pull up determination the chill in my morning air and the snow falling quietly sucks it all out of me. My determination to wake up early, pray and have quiet time was killed. I was left lacking.
But God says something different about me. He believes that I am determined and He wants me to live life with determination...but He doesn't want me to do it on my own. Perhaps that is always my downfall. I try so often to do this walk on my own. I fool myself into thinking that I don't need anyone. If my friends saw where I am they would be disgusted or perhaps they would laugh at my feeble attempts to accomplish the smallest things.
And then there is God. Many times I find myself fearing Him. So often I have said that they only opinion I should worry about is God's, but sometimes I make Him out to be a monster. I cling to this verse...
Romans 2:4 "Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"
God is no monster. It's His kindness that brings us to that most important place where we can turn around and follow after Him. Accepting His sacrifice and forgiveness of our sins. His kindness brings us closer to Him.
I tend to forget to ask God for help. I forget to ask Him to give me strength and to keep me determined. I forget that He has given me the gifts of friendships that keep me accountable. I need to keep asking God for help when I need it. He's not angry. He's not embarrassed by me. He loves me and wants to walk this life with me. With His help I will continue to be determined. Together we will fight for it not against it.
Ephesians 1:17-19 "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."